Straight Dope Part Excerpt 1 – Street Life: Carolyn

Posted: February 12, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Carolyn, 44

Shoulder length blonde hair, street smart, customer service

                                  I didn’t get arrested, I got rescued

I’m a military brat, so it’s really hard to claim where I am from, but I claim Minnesota. And yes, I am a Viking fan. When will I ever learn (laughs). I have been in San Diego most of my life, 28 years. My Father was in the Coast Guard and by the time I was in high-school, I had 16 different addresses, so it was a little difficult as a kid. Wow. Yeah, but whats funny is that I have been to counselors and they said that I am a major adjuster (laughs). So I figure, I can adjust to anything, from having nice things to uh, having nothing. I can adjust really well to my circumstances more than a regular person.

Growing up, moving around a lot was difficult because you meet people and then your leaving, and then next thing you know, you are the new kid again and again. I think that got harder on me because you never had a ground. It is difficult for a kid. My Mother…. both my Mother and Father are recovering alcoholics (sighs). My Father got into recovery when I was 12 or 13 and my Mother a year later. So there is a genetic disposition right there.

I witnessed a lot of abuse between my Mother and Father. My Brother is five years younger than me and even though he received some psychological abuse, he slept through most of it. Growing up in that environment, there was a lot of embarrassment , a lot of fear. A lot of times I was afraid to go home because I did not know what was going to happen. I remember walking home and seeing my Dad and his cousin riding the motorcycle, and all the neighbors are looking out of their windows and I am thinking, “Oh God!” The abuse went on until the military told him, “Either get together or get out.” So he went somewhere, Great Lakes somewhere for treatment, extensive treatment for like six to eight weeks. Later on in the summer, my Mom went in at that point. I really didn’t realize that she had a drinking problem.

After they got out of treatment, they started to take notice of me (laughs). Because I had pretty much did everything on my own, but when they got out, they started taking interest in my grades and stuff. I was like, “Okay..” Suddenly I was like, “I have parents now!” And after that, it was all AA. If I had to hear another word about AA, I was going to throw up! It was just…..Their drinking was their problem. I figured it’s your problem, you deal with it.

In Minnesota, it’s more drinking, more alcohol socialization. There are drugs, but drinking is the biggest thing though. I always said that if I had stayed out there, I would have been an alcoholic instead of a drug user. Heck, when I moved to California, that was the first time I ever drank or used anything. But hey, it was my age too. I was fifteen.

First time I smoked pot I was 15. Then after that, it was before school, after school, during break, during lunch (laughs), it was just…. it. After that I became a major stoner. One day, I think I was about 17, 18, someone had offered me a line of crystal. So before I went to do it, the person said, “Wait, this isn’t like anything you have ever done.” I told him that I done coke and crack, but he said, “This is different,” and yeah it was a lot different. I was nothing that I was used to and I was hooked right from the start.

 What was so different about crystal?

It was a longer high. I was more alert, more confident. In the 80’s, the dope was so much different than today’s stuff.

In the 80’s, they used ephedrine, but now you can’t just go get it. You have to get it from the pills and all that. Back then, The Hells Angels had uh… it was theirs. Now you can’t get all the products here in California anymore. Now it’s all about the super labs. The Cartels have taken it over from the bikers. They are finding them in the jungles of Mexico. During the drought season of about 2007, you couldn’t find anything anywhere. That’s when The Cartels took over.

After I started to use crystal, I got sent to continuation school and that helped my use. Continuation school is where a lot of kids from really bad neighborhoods and really bad families went. They were all drop out kids, screwed up backgrounds and all that. School wasn’t really taken seriously. After class, we would party. My crystal use was a party thing, not something to get by. When I look back on it, I really didn’t belong. I should have been in night school, but I wanted to go to school with kids my own age. After I finished school, I met my sons Father when I was 19 and that’s when everything changed. That’s when I started using more.

See back in the day, the dope used to have red phosphorous in it, so we would call it “Agent Orange,” and it smelled. Shortly after I get pregnant with my son, I stop using. Two weeks after I have him, I couldn’t wait to use. Damn. Yeah, I threw myself on the couch and just came down.

After having my son, I had hit my first rock bottom. I voluntary checked myself into a county funded facility. I wasn’t going to go to no shelter, so I went to this institute and it was about a two to three week detox, which is where I also met my now husband. He had been working at this sober living house I was staying at, working off his community service. I would get rides from him and we both realized we were backwards the same way (laughs). His father was a cop and if you know anything, you know cop kids are bad. Why? Because the kids grow up believing that everyone’s a dirt bad and that you do not trust anyone, especially since his Dad was a old school cop, okay. Back then, to be a cop depended on how big and bad you were, and you had to be the man of the family and everything else, so he grew up with that. When I met him, he had eight months clean, but I am sure he was still smoking weed. That’s what they called the “Marijuana Maintenance Program.” A lot of people just smoke weed to get through shit (laughs). We started hanging out and I think we got married probably a year and a half later. And we strived, we really did good. We got the toys, the place to live, and we had a daughter. And then, shit just started going bad in my husbands life. His Mother got brain cancer and he didn’t take it well. My husband had two years clean and he just lost it, started back using, smoking crystal meth.

For more, pickup Straight Dope: A 360 degree look into on American drug culture February 27, 2013 at

  1. The story is so engaging. Wonderful concept for a book.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s